Smile and the world smiles back

I had a major shift in my consciousness the past week.  I let go.  After three and a half years of trying to gain control of my life, my surroundings, my weight, my happiness...I just let go.  Let's back up....I have been re-committing myself to yoga lately (I am going on my seventh day of consecutive yoga woohoo).  I have found that by letting myself be active when I want and rest when I need to and balancing all actions appropriately without over-thinking every tiny little thing, I naturally find balance by the end of the day.  I can't stop smiling.  It rises out of me from nowhere because I realize all the things I was worrying about are trivial.  Everything sorts itself out.  Everything is constantly changing.  We really have no control over our lives, but the more we tune in to how we are feeling we can automatically remedy anything that feels off.  That way we stay in tune with our needs instead of ignoring and pushing ourselves to keep going despite obvious signals (sickness, migraines, fatigue, irritability) telling us to slow down or speed up. 

We want to believe we are in control.  To live in a world where nothing is in our control is very scary; that anything could happen at any possible moment.  Instead of viewing our lack of control as a scary concept we can choose to look at this with a positive outlook.  How wonderful it is to live this life of unpredictability!  Anything is possible any second of the day.  In every "negative" instance there is always a positive skew.  It takes practice and it takes work but with time one can see every situation as a blessing.  Think about all the mistakes, heart breaks, and turbulent times you have been through in the past and then think about where you are today.  How much have you learned?  How are you different?  How have those instances altered your frame of mind? 

I thank my lucky stars for my hard times because they have made me who I am today and I love who I am today.  I wish the same for all of you.  That you are able to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and say, " I love you." Your self love is all you need.  When you shine from the inside out others can tell your brilliance is truly genuine and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.  You are happy and others see you as a happy person which makes you happier.  As a side note, if you are not happy right now; if you are struggling to even get out of bed in the morning the only advice I would have is 1.  let yourself feeeeel your emotions.  Don't deny yourself grief, sadness, and self expression, or even tears.  2. let yourself smile.  Humor heals all so even in the dark of the night you can keep a twinkle in your eye because these times too shall pass. 

Let go, soften, open yourself, breath, smile, laugh.

Thoughts are transient so laugh

I had a profound thought today about how transient thoughts are haha.  Through my yoga class and being introduced to Jin Shin Jyustu I watched my thoughts today and saw how they bubble up, come to the surface, create some emotional response and then pop or drift down into the abyss again.  Thoughts are just thoughts.  I had a million thoughts come up in my brain today and I was luckily in a good space so I was able to watch how I have it in my power to not give my thoughts power.  It is up to me to decide what I want to do with the thoughts that pass through my brain. 

That idea, for some reason, is really comforting!!  Every time I had an overly emotional response to a random thought I was able to stop and ask myself, 1. does it really matter all that much? and 2. I have the choice to laugh.  And that is what I did.  Instead of feeding an uncomfortable thought with my emotions, I sent it away with love.  I keep hearing the same advice from yoga teachers lately: if its not fun, why do it?  If you aren't smiling, then what can you do to change your situation to bring a grin to that beautiful face? 

Take control of your life.  It is your decision to feel overwhelmed, it is you who does not laugh when our brains want to make our life into dramas, it is us who feed disturbing thoughts or situations by ruminating over them.  Know that you have the power within you to heal, to change, to laugh!  I forget to laugh a lot, but I learn more and more every day that even the way I think is funny.  The way I'm so used to living my life waiting for the other shoe to drop, especially when everything is going well.  Now, I want to laugh.  I want to laugh at my habitual reactions because I'd rather be laughing and smiling and enjoying my life, then letting my transient thoughts win over.  So what do you choose?

Choose Happiness

Quick post before I go to sleep...

I'm realizing more and more these days that happiness is not something that comes easily.  It is not something that can be defined in a general sense as it feels and comes differently to every single individual.  But one thing that I am learning is that happiness is a choice.  We can choose to live our lives moment to moment beating ourselves up in our heads and thinking negative thoughts or we can choose to fill ourselves with positive affirmations and light. 

This past weekend I was at an all weekend yoga immersion.  I was learning the seven loops of Anusara Yoga and on the last day were the last two loops: skull and shoulder loop.  This is mainly where I hold my tension (and where most of us do because of constantly sitting and driving around in cars slumped over).  During the morning practice I kept practicing these two loops and going over and over the knots in my neck and shoulders.  Tears began to come up from deep within me.  I shoved them back down to get through the practice.  At the end one of the assistants came over to me and asked if I was alright and I just said that it is amazing how our knots/our muscles hold our emotions and a lot came up for me.  She just looked at me and said let it out, let it all go. 

With someone giving me permission I just began to cry.  It wasn't hysterical and it wasn't light.  It was a continuous stream of tears of recognition (with a smile across my face from relief of just letting myself do what I needed to do:cry).  Recognition of the pain I have carried around with me of the negative words I have put in my head, of my inability to sometimes speak up for myself or speak my mind for fear of standing strong in who I am and someone not liking me because of that.  The years of hanging my head and drooping my shoulders and not looking people in the eyes to hide my absolute insecurity and lack of confidence, which I tried so hard to hide from people.

It is funny how the things we don't want people to see in us are the things people do see and appreciate.  Our insecurities are what make us unique, they are what propel us forward, and give us motivation to make the world a better place.  They bring us compassion and make us able to put ourselves in other people's shoes easier.  I sometimes forget to view me past as a gift.  A gift that assists me in being able to extend myself to anyone who comes along my path.  I'm choosing happiness now.  I forget sometimes, but I find I catch myself faster these days and remind myself: happiness is a choice.  Make the best choices for yourself: smile, laugh, and choose to be happy now.