Life surely speeds up when you start focusing on the present moment and stepping away from the computer. I had my first weekend of classes at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition last weekend. Needless to say, I feel inspired and filled with a whole new sense of purpose and direction. It also made me realize how ready I am to go back to Grad School and be a student again. Isn't it interesting how the smallest events can change our whole perspective on life? My emotional ups and downs have been more frequent lately, but I am handling them better as I have the tools to know what to do now and am trying more and more every day to use them.
I feel as though this has been a highly emotional time because I'm finally getting what I want. Now you may ask, "excuse me, why would that make your life more complicated?" Well, for the past several months all I have been asking for is to be surrounded by people again and to have the opportunity to make new friends. Last weekend, I was in an entire room filled with healthy conscious people who understood me and I left the weekend finally feeling re-connected to a community. When I came back home it was like a shock to my system....o yah you still have your life here too where I am lacking that social network to feel whole.
Two points to bring up that I learned from these feelings: 1. One can eat the right things, have a great job, exercise and still be miserable because feeling connected to something greater, being supported by people or a community (like in yoga its called sangha, in religions you go to a temple or church) helps us feel complete. We all innately want to help each other, connect with each other, and know we're not alone in our journeys while we are here on this earth. To be understood by someone else is a gift, so if you have that in your life right now, count your blessings.
2. I realized that I have been asking for something for so long that once I finally got it I didn't prepare myself to enjoy it. I kept asking for the same thing; to have friends and connections and I was still focusing on the loneliness I had been feeling when that feeling was and is no longer there. Sometimes when we get what we want, we automatically believe we don't deserve it. Or that if we actually embrace that the universe heard our cries that it might be taken away. When did we start to believe that we didn't deserve everything we want and ask for? We have the right to be happy and know in our heads and our hearts that we deserve that happiness.
A note to all those who are still struggling to get what they want: life will deliver, keep trying and be patient (easier said than done I know). Even though what you want isn't right in front of your eyes (or maybe it is and you're not ready to take hold of the opportunity yet) what you want is out there, just trust in that. And while you're waiting... don't dwell on what is not in your life, instead be thankful for what you do have right here right now.
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