Ebb and Flow

It is easy to get stuck in a rut.  We find our routine and become complacent with it.  It becomes our security blanket when nothing else in our life seems controllable, at least we have our routine.  But even that isn't in our control.  Every day is a new day, yet do you ever find yourself approaching the next day exactly how you did the last.  I know for me, instead of waking up in the morning and checking in with myself to see how I am today, I get up and go straight into my schedule that my body knows so well.  I find myself going through the motions just so I can get to the place my head is already at, which is at work, doing some various task, or even with eating, my head is already at the act of swallowing my food, instead of where my body is at, which is chewing.  I'm over there (points to far side of room) instead of right here, right now.  The more my head is over there and my body wants to be right here, the more I feel this tension between my wants and my needs.

What I need is to let go and what I want is more control and sense of security haha.  Have you experienced this?  This inner battle between what you want and what you need.  A couple of years ago, I thought these were exactly the same thing, but as I grow older I realize they conflict a lot.  Then it is a matter of either continuing to fight against what I actually need and be a whiny kid who just goes after what she wants or surrendering control and listening to my inner intuition.  My wants having been winning lately.  So for this week my goal is to let myself listen to what I need and even if its not what I want to do I know in the long run I will gain more from giving my body and mind what it needs.  What do you need?  Write it down, read it over, and think about how it may conflict with what you want.  How have you not been listening to yourself and ignoring signals telling yourself you are not taking optimal care of your needs.  Never feel guilty for giving yourself what you need.