What to say, what to say....I'm trying to embrace this whole slowing down thing. It is really rather hard for me haha but every day I feel more like myself again. My mind is slowly quieting, my spirit and vitality or creeping back into my personality. It is amazing how we adapt and change as the weeks fly by. Two months ago I was ridden with anxiety and not able to get off the floor I was crying so much. Today, I found myself actually smiling and laughing and not really caring that I hardly did anything until I went to work this evening. I think that is far more important than anything else that has happened to me in the past couple of weeks. I can actually see and feel my brain slowly down and that is truly amazing.
Have you ever watched yourself like that? I know you all have gone through a rough period at some point in your life. Think back to that moment.....(I'll wait...).....now think about how you are now. How did you get here? What changes did you make either consciously or subconsciously? How did you pick yourself back up again? The human spirit is an incredible thing to watch, but I find we rarely take the time to reflect on the constant changes that are occurring. I think even I had stopped watching how I've changed over the past several years and now it all caught up to me. I think that is why it is important to take that time to reflect and sit with one self so that you don't have the moment that I did of "Who the hell am I and how did I get here?"
I am beginning to become more excited about the prospects in my future....whatever it beholds. Less fearful of what is going to happen to me and more curious. Fear has never helped me or anyone I know. It holds us back from exploring with a child's like curiosity what is around us. How did we become so fearful of living life? I talked with a career counselor tonight to start some sessions to try to figure this whole what should I do with my life thing...I'm really excited about this...beaming actually is a good word. Maybe because I finally feel movement in my life again...things are slowly starting to pick up. Patience: it is one of the hardest virtues to behold and something I guess I am still working on.
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Fear is debilitating. And you're right, it doesn't help a thing.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.
:)
I agree...a "Time for Reflection" is such a small task that can make the biggest and healthiest improvements in our lives. Believe it or not, most people are afraid to take that journey. It can be painful and torturous at times BUT if you are brave enough to endure....it is one of the most liberating experiences. The path to knowing, loving, and complete understanding one's own true "self" ...is a wild and beautiful thing.
ReplyDeleteBest Wishes :)