Pahked my cah in Havahd Yahd

So I know it has been a couple of days since I've written...I decided to get out of town for this long weekend and visit some college friends in Boston. It was kind of interesting being around people who actually know who I was and who I am now...it was some what nerve racking to be around them. I've grown into quite the introverted person when out with my friends who I used to be extremely extroverted with. Of course, get me on a topic that I feel is something worth talking about and I'll chime in with my two cents, but lately I just feel as though if I have nothing noteworthy to say...so why say anything at all?

Anyways, it was one of my friends' birthday and thus we all got dressed up (which I haven't done in forever and that was highly entertaining) and went out to dinner and to some bars to go dancing. I was the only one not drinking and that didn't bother me at all because if dancing is involved I don't need any liquid motivation to inspire me to let loose and shake my hips. Dancing is one of those things that I will actually stay up until all ends of the night doing because it is one of the most liberating things you can do not only with friends but by yourself as well (I am a big advocate of spending an afternoon dancing around the house like a fool with my music blaring...if you have never done this I highly advise you try it the next time you find yourself alone and bored).

Bar scenes are....quite interesting. I don't spend much time at bars and rarely go to them. The whole idea of a bar is kind of funny. All these single people in a room lookin' to "get down". There were a lotttt of people in this large room with an awesome DJ and everyone had their own dancing and "come on" styles. The worst I probably saw of the night was this older gentleman who was relentlessly grabbing girls' hands and just starting to dance with them without asking...needless to say every girl walked away. By one in the morning, I was exhausted and sitting on a bench in the back of the room and looking at how over the past couple of hours everyone had seemed to pair off. Even most of the girls I was with had some how found some guy to talk to or dance with...or other things hah. I personally could never meet a guy at a bar. The fact that I rarely go to them, makes me already feel like a fake that if I met some guy he would think I'm some partier, which I am not (and yes I realize that someone out there could have been in the same situation as me). I guess I just need the opportunity to have a conversation with someone first before I let them run their grubby hands over my body.

Why is it though that we naturally pair off? It is extremely hard to go out in a situation like this just to have some fun with friends and not worry about a love interest or finding a date or someone to dance with. Why is just going out with yourself to have some fun never enough? These are the questions that passed through my head as I watched the night unfold. Even my eyes shifted about all night to see if I was possibly being checked out by other guys but then ended up looking up at the ceiling reminding myself that I don't truly care and am certainly not looking and ready to go back out there again yet anyways. But, yet it was something I had to remind myself constantly throughout the night. Why is it that love and finding it always seem at the forefront of most people's brains?