I had a very interesting day today...a lot of stimulating conversations in which I got to practice thinking for myself. I have realized in the past I was very open to believing what everyone said to me instead of privately asking myself if I agreed with this person's point of view or not. I now know that having conversations with people is a chance to cultivate yourself and a way to bring more depth and understanding of who you are by understanding what you believe in with regards to what other people believe in. I hope that sentence made sense haha.
Anyways, there are too many conversations that occurred today to go into them all...but I think the pearl and epiphany that happened to me today was an eye awakening experience. While driving to a yoga class this morning, I started to think about spirituality and what it means to be spiritual. I think after going through an eating disorder three years ago and turning to Buddhism for some answers I took away the wrong message. I thought by getting involved in yoga and meditation (which helped me tremendously) that I was supposed to be what our Western society has deemed what a "spiritual" person looks like: someone who is calm, serene, and tranquil. The ultimate vision of the Buddha mediating. I am neither calm, serene, or tranquil (of course I have my moments but not on a continuous basis). I have a lot of energy, I like to talk and I like to listen, I pride myself on having a strong character. But, for the past several years I altered and doctored myself to be something that I thought I "should" be if I was in this mystical world.
The other side is, people with strong personalities, tend to be easy targets to be picked on. So after much verbal abuse, eventually someone will dull their shine to "fit in." Why is that we are afraid of people who have outward confidence? Why is it that we feel threatened by other people's happiness? Are we envious? Jealous? Why is it that we pick on and make fun of each other so much? What are we afraid of?
I am slowly remembering who I was, who I changed into, and who I want to be as I grow up. Whoever said that the 20's is the best time of your life had it all wrong...I think its the second most tumultuous time (adolescence and puberty being the first) as you are figuring out how you want to live your life after being in college for around 22 years. I will add, as difficult as this time is, I am embracing every change, every uncomfortable thought, every unexpected turn, because life is a journey and I am on the wildest and loopy of rides.
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I liked your question about "what does spirituality mean to you?" I think it means contemplating and making contact with the world beyond it's mere physical surface appearances. I think it means learning to appreciate and ultimately understand the unity and harmony that is there all around us if we look for it. And how when you see it, it becomes obvious. And finally it becomes everything.
ReplyDeleteYou may also like my blog. It's the true story of my contact with my spirit guide. I hope you'll have a look: http://www.seedospeaks.com
Take care.
"Bear no malice; use understanding as your guide and kindness as your rule." These are words that came to mind one day for me. I try to live by them and I think this is one definition of spirituality.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.livingwordsofwisdom.com