I have been somewhat avoiding a continuous yoga practice. Things in my life have been in such an upheaval I didn't want to face any truths going on inside my brain. But, I have been practicing yoga for almost 4 years now (plus I went through a certification) so after awhile my body sort of craves it.
I haven't been sleeping very well....waking up at 1 in the morning and not being able to fall back to sleep for hours is a whole bunch of fun let me tell you. I have no idea how many proper hours of sleep I am going off of right now, but I was determined to get to this advanced yoga class today. Slightly groggy and filled with green tea I drove 20 minutes to the studio and was immediately glad to be there as soon as I walked in.
I got there extremely early and decided to meditate. I sat there in a big empty studio, on a block, listening to my breath. I had completely forgotten that I benefited from this stuff. For awhile I thought it was all bogus and why have I been spending so much of my time for the last several years on stuff that did nothing for me. But, sitting there and watching my thoughts pass by I remembered what it was like to be "in tune" with myself and to stop beating myself up for deferring school and coming home to get some down and a little more self exploration. I realized I am making this opportunity into one that is very difficult instead of embracing the situation I am in right now.
I am exactly where I am supposed to be...even writing those words my head wants to argue..."No you're supposed to be in CO right now!" I battle these thoughts by saying again, I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Sometimes the events in our life don't go exactly as planned (actually most of the time nothing goes as planned). I am learning this more and more every day by watching the events happening to each person in my family. I doubt any one of them expected to be where they are right now, but yet here they are. Its hard to embrace any tough spot we find ourselves in but the more we let go of grasping for our circumstances to be different the better we are able to embrace our situation and find the motivation to change it to something that is closer to what we had imagined for ourselves.
I continue to search for what I have imagined for myself, but I'm still coming up short on the where do you see yourself in five years question....guess I'll have to come back to it another day.
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I never have given much thought to the "Where do you see yourself in five years?" question because NOBODY knows what the future holds for them. Sure, you can wish and hope things would be a certain way, but in reality it usually doesn't turn out that way anyway, so why put yourself through the turmoil of things not going like you had planned? :O)
ReplyDeleteYou have to just kind of go with the flow, because if you don't it's a never ending battle within yourself playing the second guessing game. I'm not saying don't dream, because that's an essential part of life, but don't dwell on it like the future was put in stone to play out like you think it might. Life is an ever evolving event with ups and downs, dreams come true and dreams that don't make it to fruition. It's in all this roller coaster of a life that makes it interesting.
I think it's great to have that focus of where you want to be in 5yrs. Isn't that laws of attraction? I think what it all boils down to is enjoy where you are right now and making the best of it, because we're not always going to like where were at. Eventually you'll get to that place.:)
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