Which way is up?

Do you ever feel as though the events that are happening in your life are going to change who you are forever? Of course going through tumultuous events in life it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and hindsight is always a funny thing afterward. I feel like I am in a continuous state of hindsight right now trying to track backwards to how I ended up feeling so lost. My best friend said to me yesterday after I was trying to grasp how such a highly motivated and ambitious person could fall apart like this and she replied, "Stephanie! You wore yourself out!"

....she had a good point. The more people I talk to I am realizing I am not the only person that this has happened to. Every now and then one has to go where home base is to reassess if they are "on track." I guess I always intellectually knew everyone around me, including myself, were constantly reinventing themselves, but actually emotionally going through it is quite unsettling. My mother was telling me last night how many times she has reinvented herself and changed her personality.

I suddenly feel like I have been living my life like it was a race....to where I am not exactly sure, but all of a sudden all I want to do is slowwww down. Growing up is mind blowing and I know those who are reading this who are in their 30's, 40's, and 50's will read this and tell me, "it doesn't get any easier."