Spread em

I went to the gynecologist this morning. This is probably the least favorite annual appointment that I have to make every year. I constantly want to crack jokes while the doctor is making sure there are no lumps in my breasts or searching in the under world to make sure everything looks pink and rosy perfect. The doctor is trying to engage in idle conversation to make this experience as comfortable as possible and to get the patients' attention away from the fact that this is completely awkward.

While she puts my feet into the stirrups, I'm thinking in my head this is it...she's gonna stick some metal contraption up in me now and its going to be really uncomfortable. While she's searching around down there I want to say something like, "Sooooo how's it lookin' down there?" I think one of the funniest parts is when the doctor finally leaves I make the most painful expression on my face because owwwwww you just scratched a piece of me out of me. I know that this is very important to make sure I am in tip top health but....OW.

Honestly, I love the dentist far more than the gyno. The feeling afterward is lovely, when you get to look in the mirror and see a new pair of pearly whites instead of the feeling of grossness in the under regions. A male friend of mine argued that the dentist is far worse as there are all those metal instruments in your mouth to which I replied, "imagine those metal instruments up your private part." He shut up after that.